"Is
it ok to have premarital sex?" That is a common question among teens and
engaged couples. In your mind, you are probably weighing the pros and cons of
premarital sex. On the positive side of the scale, there is acceptance from
your peers, hope for pleasure, and the fulfillment of sexual desires.
The
negative side of the scale carries the weights of morals, fear of pregnancy or
disease, and guilt. How do these scales balance? What is the right decision?
A
surprising new study shows Religious youths are having premarital sex and
abortions as much (or more) than unreligious people.
Eighty
percent of young, unmarried Christians have had sex. Two-thirds have been
sexually active in the last year. Even though, according to a recent Gallup
poll, 76 percent of evangelicals believe sex outside of marriage is morally
wrong.
Grace
Kay like other believers planned to save sex for marriage. She made it through
high school with her virginity intact, but when she was 20 she started having
sex with her college boyfriend.
“I
was so enamored with my first boyfriend,” Kay says. “He was the first guy I
really fell in love with, and suddenly all the barriers came down and I was way
too vulnerable.”
Kay
believes better role models may have helped her abstain, but even her Christian
friends were having sex.
“It
seemed everyone in my life, older and younger, had ‘done it,’ ” Kay says. “In
fact, I waited longer than most people I knew and longer than both of my
sisters, even though we were all Christians and came from a good home.”
Kay
continued to have sex with her college boyfriend for years as they maintained
an on-again/off -again relationship.
Stories
like this aren’t often heard in church, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t
common.
In
fact, a recent study reveals that 88 percent of unmarried young adults (ages
18-29) are having sex.
The
same study, conducted by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned
Pregnancy, reveals the number doesn’t drop much among Christians. Of those surveyed
who self-identify as “evangelical,” 80 percent say they have had sex. So much
for true love waits.
Why
is this? Yes, sex is pleasurable, but in God's view, the primary purpose of sex
is not recreation, but rather re-creation. In other words, sex is for
reproduction. God does not limit sex to married couples to rob pleasure from
those who are unmarried. Rather, God commands against premarital sex in order
to protect unmarried people from unwanted pregnancies, from children born to
parents who do not want them, and to protect children from parents who are not
prepared for them.
Imagine, for a moment, a world without premarital sex. There
would be no sexually-transmitted diseases, there would be no un-wed mothers,
there would be no unwanted pregnancies, there would be no abortions, etc.
Whatever
Happened to Abstinence must be rekindled she concluded.